Convincing Professor Binns
by Lily MJ Fae
Summary: Every year, one student or another tries to convince Professor Binns that he in fact dead. But they always fail. Now Luna has decided that she wants to teach History of Magic and strikes a deal. If she can convince him, the job is hers. Written for round 2 of Season 4 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.
_**A/N:** Hello! Here is my round 2 submission for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. I am captain for the Ballycastle Bats. I hope you enjoy my story!_

 _Prompts:_

 _Quidditch League: Write about a character using your subject (history of magic) in their career._

 _Quidditch Pitch: "Intelligence without passion is like a bird without wings." Salvador Dali_

 _Drabble Club: Ghost_

 _Final Word Count: 1,988 (according to google docs)_

* * *

"I'm sorry, you what?" Minerva asked her former student in complete shock.

"I would like a job," Luna replied as nonchalantly as if she were discussing the weather.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have any positions available at this time." Minerva felt perplexed that the girl had just casually strolled in, expecting to get a job. Surely she understood that it didn't quite work that way.

"Yes, you do. History of Magic."

Minerva shook her head, Luna had always been spacey and odd, but she hadn't quite expected anything like this from the girl. "Professor Binns has been doing a perfectly fine job, and I don't have to pay him. Why would I give you the job?"

"Because he's a miserable excuse for a teacher. I'm sure he was a lovely man once, however, he does not do his job well. Have you ever sat in one of his classes?"

"I did when I was student."

"And he was still alive then, right?"

"Yes, he had been teaching for thirty years before I began, and he continued for almost another thirty after my first year here."

"Then surely you remember just how boring they were? Or at the very least, that they grew more and more dull as time went on."

Minerva had to admit the girl was right. Binns had not been known for engaging his students. But she felt sorry for the man that he died and never noticed. "Still, I don't have to pay him. And he does teach what he's supposed to. Besides, no one can convince him he's died."

"What if I could? Professor, I've spent many years studying the History of Magic since I left Hogwarts. I didn't just study the books either; I went and spoke to those that were alive during the events and studied diaries and artifacts. I have a deep rooted passion for history, and I think I could help improve our students' desires to learn about it too."

"Well, I won't fire him. And I can't just tell him he's died; he won't listen."

"What if I could convince him that he's died?" Luna offered.

Minerva was very perplexed. She couldn't recall a time the girl was so dedicated to something past her father's joke of a magazine. "If you what?"

"If I can convince Professor Binns that he has died, could I have the post?"

Minerva shook her head as she rubbed her forehead. Who would want to tell someone that they died, and had been dead for forty years? "I suppose if you can somehow manage to convince him that he's dead and he should give up the post, then yes, you can take over. But I wish you luck. Several students have tried every year, over the past several, to convince him."

Luna smiled her dreamy far off smile and nodded. "Thank you, Headmistress. I promise that when I succeed, I won't disappoint you."

* * *

Luna walked into the empty History of Magic classroom and laughed a little to herself when she saw Professor Binns floating at his podium, lecturing away with all the students gone for the summer holiday.

She walked to the front of the room and stopped in front of him, wondering if he would even notice the change.

"Miss Lovegood, what are you doing out of your seat?" he asked, not even bothering to look up from his notes.

"Professor Binns, the summer holiday is on, no one is here. And I graduated several years ago," she stated. It was odd to remember that she had been gone from Hogwarts for years. It almost felt alien.

He looked up, examined the classroom and shrugged. "It would appear you are correct. Good day, Miss Lovegood."

He began to float away, and she knew she had to say something.

"Professor Binns, would you stay a moment. I would like to discuss a few things with you. Care to take a seat with me?" She gestured to the nearest student desk, wondering if she could succeed in this endeavour.

"Alright, Miss Lovegood, I suppose I have some spare time."

He floated through the desk before assuming a seated—was it really sitting if he hovered in the table too?— position. She grabbed a chair and sat across from him.

"How long have you been teaching, Professor?"

He pondered the question a moment, thinking hard about the years. "Since 1905 I believe."

Luna remembered hearing somewhere that Minerva herself had been born that same year. "Even given that wizards inherently live longer than muggles, don't you think it's a bit odd? How old were you when you started teaching?"

"I was about—" he paused, cutting himself off, thinking again. He scratched his chin and stared at the ceiling. She was almost afraid that he had fallen asleep until he began to finish his thought, "I was about thirty."

"Don't you think it's about time you retired? I mean, it's summer, and you're still here."

"I wouldn't have anything else to do. I think I'll stay right here."

"Then tell me professor, why did you choose to teach History of magic?"

* * *

 _The ghostly man looked at her, shocked. No one had ever asked him why he started teaching._

 _Cuthbert Binns looked out the window in dismay. The grey sky and downpour of rain only worsened his mood._

 _"Why can't I teach Charms," he asked, his heart breaking just a little bit._

 _"Well for one thing, the position is already filled," the headmaster responded, as if he hadn't just destroyed a man's dreams. "Besides, I remember when you were a student here, Mr. Binns. You were only adequate at Charms. I realize that we all have our passions, but unfortunately, yours simply is not your strength."_

 _"Headmaster, please, give me a chance to prove myself."_

 _"Even if you were excellent, I already have a Charms professor. I can't just fire him for your desires."_

 _Cuthbert sighed. "Do you have any positions open?"_

 _"Well, we need a professor to teach History of Magic."_

 _He sighed once more, of course that ruddy class would come back to him. He had excelled in it obviously, but he never understood why others hadn't. It was simple facts, nothing difficult about it. Alas, he needed the job. Desperately._

 _"I suppose, if you'd have me, I could teach that. Perhaps until or unless the Charms position opens up?" He had to add it. He needed that little flicker of hope._

 _"We'll see about that. But for now, you may have the History of Magic post. You excelled in that class, and I hope that you can share that with your students, Professor Binns."_

* * *

"I was never given the opportunity to teach Charms, eventually I just gave up. History was never my passion, and my students never enthused about it."

"'Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.' A man named Salvador Dali said that once," Luna mused gently. "Professor, I know that it's hard to accept, but you passed on, years ago. I know that you know everyone tries to tell you, but it's true. How else do you explain the fact that you float through the blackboard and floated through the table just now?"

"What does it matter anyway? I am still here, I might as well teach."

"Professor, you said it yourself, History of Magic was never your passion. But you gave me a passion for it. I've spent the last several years researching all of it. Besides, as a ghost, you have more important things to do, like relax. Maybe you can move on."

"Miss Lovegood, I don't think you understand. You either move on or become a ghost."

"Except that you never made the choice. I think if you wanted to, you could move on."

Cuthbert looked at her, confused. The girl had always been strange, but sometimes she made no sense.

"Or we could ask the Ministry to move you, because they the special teams for that. You could go anywhere you wanted."

"I think that would not work. I'm content here in the castle. If I'm going to be stuck anywhere, then I should prefer here."

"Alright, Professor, but I still think you could move on. You hadn't even realized you were dead until now, so you couldn't have possibly decided to stay or move on."

"Either way, it is done."

"Well, could I propose a deal then? Let me teach class for a week. If you feel that I am doing fine, then you can enjoy your ghostly-life here doing as you wish. And if you feel that I am not doing the job justice, then I'll leave."

"Why would I agree to that?"

"Because you and I both know that you know everyone falls asleep in your class. Even Hermione Granger did once or twice. You have no passion here, and it shows. But I do. I truly love history, and I want to share that with the students of Hogwarts. It is only one week after all."

"I suppose that would be fair."

* * *

Luna stood at the front of her classroom, happy with the way it has turned out. Posters hung on every inch depicting battles from wars, the founders, and even Harry Potter and his friends. Her students filed in, looking around in astonishment and shock.

They were even more shocked at the missing ghost of a teacher they had seen the years before.

"Good morning, class," Luna greeted in that far away voice of hers. "I'm professor Lovegood and this is History of Magic."

Binns watched from the back of the classroom. Luna had a smile on her face and a look in her eye that intrigued. The students all stared at her with wide eyes as she discussed that various events that they would be covering. Their eyes lit up as she gave little snippets of The Goblin Rebellions (including her own personal experiences with goblins) and she discussed the Giant wars, mentioning the Giant, Grawp, that fought for Hogwarts when she was still a student. Even he himself had found that slight interest in the subject that he hadn't had since he was a boy at Hogwarts himself.

The thought of his students being left with her filled him with a sense of peace and comfort. He knew that for the first time in a great many years, students might finally find an interest in the subject of History of Magic once again. They might actually learn and succeed where he had failed.

He felt light, in a way he had never experienced before. For the first time since he opened his eyes to death, he actually felt like he was floating, and he was. Slowly, higher and higher. The students of the class disappeared as he floated through the ceiling. The speed at which he rose increased more and more until he was drifting above the castle, watching it disappear. He could see a Quidditch practice in the pitch, but quickly they became as small as ants. He floated further and further from the ground, and as he looked up, he saw the clouds. Then he passed them even, and all he could see was the stars, the beautiful stars. He wasn't aware of when he ceased to be, but he had found peace in the sky.

* * *

The only one to notice Binns' disappearance was Luna. She had noticed him floating up. She had been right of course, that he could move on. And she smiled, happy for the man that he could finally be at peace.

She turned back to her students and continued to discuss Grawp, as they had immediately decided that he was a hero. And she promised that she would talk to Hagrid about a class fieldtrip to meet him.

The students at Hogwarts had finally found an appreciation for history, and they had no idea that this was just the beginning.


End file.
